We were alone
when the tornado hit…

the mockingbirds
still cawed
in the silence after
the rain, which left
the irises flopped over
in the yard
as if their ankles were broken.

I stopped mid-sandwich
as the power went out
and the weatherman left the screen.

Closing my eyes, I uttered
stay with me….one…two…three…

after the wake
we went back to 409 Wood Avenue
where I touched that chair--
a scratchy tan recliner
where she would doze off
while Grandpa watched
Walker, Texas Ranger
and I'd climb
into her lap--
so soft--
like the Monticello
water that
filled up
that claw-footed tub
and never
rinsed off soap.

April 27, 2007

I gasped
at the sight of her face
which looked ten years
younger
and my stomach churned
when my aunts and uncles
crooned "They did a
good job with her"
because somehow that
just didn't seem right.

Grandpa stood quietly
by the casket
and looked over,
motioning me toward him.

He told me she was his gift
and kept thinking he would
hear
the noises she used to make
coming from her stomach and
intestines--
a bubbly rumble which
told him that she was
digesting
her Leisure Lodge dinner.

The First

Snow came late
this year. You and I
propped open
the front door
and watched
the flakes swirl
as they caught
the draft.

We listened
as they pattered on
the awnings
of East 12th
and crackled
like Rice Krispies
doused with milk.

Later, as I walked
to the train, I smiled
at the thought that
even this metropolis
can be enchanted
by those drifting dots
which
from a distance
are falling stars.

Late Summer, Arkansas

The August air
thick
as molasses
sticks to you
like softened butter

and clammy thighs
peeling from
leather car seats
crack
like thunder.

In the Morning

Back then
I could feel the sunlight
shining through
my eyelids
and I knew
it was time.

I scampered softly
down the hall
being careful to
jump
over the air vent
because I thought
it would suck me in
as I passed.

Then I slowly
opened your door
and tiptoed
to your bed,
my eyes barely seeing
over the top
of the mattress.

I stood there
absolutely still
and stared
at your sleeping face.
You always draped one
arm over your forehead
as if you had just
fainted in an old movie.

I stared and
concentrated on sending
telepathic messages:
Wake up, Wake up.
But after two minutes
you did not stir.
so I reached for
your eyelids and
pried them apart
with gritty fingers.

My laughter at the sight
of your unseeing eye
woke you
and you drowsily nodded,
giving me the consent
to watch Saturday morning
cartoons.

Leisure Lodge (Alzheimer's)

We all walked in to the dimly lit room
and saw Grandmother facing the window,
watching the leaves change and the pansies bloom
as if for the first time. She said Do I know
you? And Mom gave a defeated sigh.
I already felt like it was time to go

home. Mom kneeled next to the wheelchair and cried
as she repeated her name to her mother
while Dad and I sat on her bed, side-by-side
and looked at pictures on the walls of other
times when it was not like this—when Grandma
remembered my face, my name, my brother,

my cousins. I looked at Grandma’s face and saw
her eyes, clouded and confused, as she stared
at Mother, not recognizing her. Grandpa
came in, saying they were taking good care
of her here, and ran a comb through her hair.